Thursday, September 25, 2008

Experiments.

Over the last few days I have been experimenting with Haiku. I'm not sure if the experiment is working well or not. In other words, I'm not quite sure if I am grasping the straws correctly. Here are a couple of the Haiku I have scribbled:

Day the first:

Sleek, black, prowling cat;
Graymalkin - do you come?
Magical Moll-cat.

Day the second:

LCD screen.
Giggles and shrieks of delight;
computer literate.


Day the third:
1.
Glistening white weight;
curvature of lifeless bough
magical winter.

2.
The angry sun
gold and red in cloudless skies.
Beauty - a statement.


I think I like the last two. Oh, but would number 1 work better as:

Magical winter;
dormant boughs bow beneath
glistening white snow.


Oh, maybe that one! Yeah, I think that one sounds much better. Wow, blogging helps me edit. Didn't think that'd happen!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very good Ally,not got as far as Haiku yet,will post up a couple of freewrites later.Dragged some surprising and uncomfortable memories up!Think that's probably a good thing though.
Like the last one"Glistening white weight" Prefer the first version,"Magical winter" seems to close the Haiku better.But never having written one...

Line @ WikkidWoman said...

those were great especially the 'Day the third' ones. I have not enven thought to attempt haikus yet :)

Keep em coming