Stuff.

Well, I finally got the first assignment off of Thursday. I think it is okay, but we'll find out soon enough. I'm just glad it isn't being marked and used as a percentage of the final mark for the course. I'm kind of looking forward to getting the feedback so I can see what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. I'll be able to plan the next assignment against that then.

Kirst and I have been having a look at what OU course we will take on after we have finished this one. At the moment we are choosing between 'Art and it's histories' and 'From Enlightenment to Romanticism'. Currently 'Enlightenment' is leading the race.

In the last week a friend of mine has been in a nasty road accident. He is in a pretty banged up way. Thanks go to Deacon for keeping me updated, and get well soon wishes and congratulations ( ;-) ) go to David. I know you can't do anything other than this, but rest up and relax.

Principessa has decided it is time for one of her difficult phases. Kirst and I were trying to do a little bit of study on Thursday afternoon, but Principessa decided it would be much more fun if she bounced on the bed, bounced on us, and play monkey. Monkey, of course, is when she wraps her arms around your neck and dangles and swings at your back. Ooooh, she's a little pest! At the mo she is watching Pingu - the little ASBO penguin whom I blame for all her bad behaviour!

I went to see Sweeney Todd on Tuesday. If you didn't know it was directed by Tim Burton, you would after the first five minutes! It is so Burton! It is like the musical version of 'Edward Sciccorhands', but with added gore. And that in itself makes it fantastic. As a whole, I really enjoyed the film. Johnny Depp as Todd is, as usual, brilliant, sounding like David Bowie on some of the songs. Helena Bonham-Carter as Mrs Lovett is brilliant as usual too, though every now and again she sounds a bit unsure when she sings. The beach scene is truly a work of wonder, where Depp and Bonham-Carter completely complent each other.

Alan Rickman (can do no wrong, in my eyes) once again plays a fantastically slimy heel, but he has always been good at playing guys you love to hate, though in comparison Timothy Spall exudes more slime!

The comedic cameo by Sacha Baron Cohen as a faux-Italian barber injected a much needed blast of colour into the grey-washed setting, but even that dinginess added to the film, giving the impression of grimy, closed in streets.

What I really liked about the film was that Depp sang to the tools of his trade, the silver razors, like they were people. There was a sense that only the razors knew of his pain (if you didn't know, Depp's character, originally called Benjamin Barker, had been sent to prison for 15 years for a crime he didn't commit by Rickman's Judge Turpin. Turpin then took Barker's wife and daughter for himself) and only the razors could hep with gaining some release (i.e. revenge!). This is what made the film for me. It was perfectly executed (no pun intended).

Anyhows, Pingu Principessa is starting to get unruly, so I think I need to find something to calm her down a bit!

What the internet should be used for.

Okay, I saw this on Neil Gaiman's journal, but it is such a good cause that it would be wrong if I didn't jump on the bandwagon, or bookwagon as the case may be.

Over the last few days a fair number of authors and bloggers have been bringing to the attention of their readers a book debut; The Liar's Diary by Patry Francis.

The book was released two days ago, but unfortunately for Patry she cannot do the promotion for the book as she is recovering from cancer treatment. The people who have heard Patry's story have joined forces and launched a massive internet promotion for her book through their blogs and websites. I think that this is just amazing, that authors and bloggers alike are supporting her by advertising her book.

So, after that, go out and buy the book. I know I will.

Why did Achilles have to have a heel, and why on earth did he pass it on to the rest of us?

I can't help it. And I know I must stop, if only to give me a chance to enjoy those which I already have. But I looooovvvvveee them soooooo much. The feel of them. The differing weights of them. The smell of them. The appearance of them. How they take up those specific areas on the shelves. Damn those evil books!

I can't stop buying them. And seeing as how I have managed to pass the book thing on to Principessa, I give myself an excuse to buy books by buying them for her. Addicted, I am.

I have so many books that I have bought in the last few months I need to read. I have books I bought years ago that I haven't got around to reading because I bought other books that took priority. I am running out of space to put new books, but I can't stop myself from buying another one here or there. And Amazon have a lot to answer for... Buy more than £15 of stuff and get free delivery. The delivery charge on one or two books is usually enough to buy another book, so I can bear the extra few days wait to buy that extra book and qualify for the free delivery. Talk about circles with teeth.

When I get a new book, I can't help myself but take a dip in the new words on those new pages. This usually results in putting down the book I am reading at that time, and most of the time it means that the book that is being read gets put down and never picked up again, losing out to the new, shiny words.

So today I received 'The Ode Less Travelled' by Stephen Fry, 'Plato And A Platypus Walk Into A Bar' by Cathcart and Klein, a rhyming dictionary for me, and a rhyming dictionary for Principessa. (Not that she's taken much notice of it yet, she is far too busy watching Over The Hedge for the umpteenth time. The only thing she has wanted to read today is my t-shirt. It says 'Red Hot Chili Peppers' on it. It's a start, I suppose!)

I have flicked through the rhyming dictionary to see how to use it. For the moment I have ignored 'Plato And A Platypus...', but I couldn't help but delve into 'Ode...'. I still haven't finished 'Jane Eyre', and I am nowhere close to getting started on 'Wide Sargasso Sea' - and I have to read that for my course. Why can't I stay concentrated?

And it's all over.

Bah! Tsonga didn't win. I was really hoping he would. In the end, Djokovic deserved the win as he kept his head better. Such a pity though. I suppose there'll be plenty of other chances for Tsonga, he just needs these experiences to know what to expect next time around.

'Twas a great match, never the less, and after the first set I did think that Tsonga might win. Both of them played some brilliant shots, but Tsonga made far too many errors. Was close, though!

I ended up watching the Chronicles of Riddick last night. I didn't like Pitch Black, but I liked Chronicles. I liked the idea of the Necromongers. Yep, I think I might watch that one again with a little more concentration.

I have now heard from the tutor for my OU course. Kirst and I can now send off our TMA's (tutor marked assignments). I'm just hoping there can be something sorted out for going to the tutorials. I'm not sure I'll be able to get there in the wheelchair. Poop!

On writing - I might have discovered a way out of the slump. I have started scribbling ideas down for the story I began for the NaNo, and something in the first chapter or so might need a little reworking, but I'm feeling more optimistic about it again. The idea for fixing the rut seemed to come steamrollering into my head this morning just after the tennis finished. I have no clue as to what flicked the switch, but I'm glad it did!

Grandand is just getting Principessa ready to go out with him to the shops, so I might just go upstairs and do some studying. I need to get my head around the Art History part of the OU course. Argh!

Isn't it strange when co-incidence happens?

Yeah, it's just been happening to me. Remember I said that I'd written a poem that had a Doctor Who influence? Well, I have just been trawling blogs when I came across this blog. This post made me immediately think of the poem because of its mention of aliens and angels as interchangeable forms in science fiction and fantasy stories. I said I might post it up, so here it is, though it is still in draft form:


Abyss, gazing.

Through a crack in
time, another broken body falls.
Entrail-like demons
lassoo candyfloss clouds in
a vain attempt to gain
purchase on another precipice,
as they weave black and twisted
webs in the star-
mottled dream cloth of the fates.

In the abyss, deities
cry tears for long lost pawns.
Marionette strings
cut, the body is freed from
chains. Broken links ensnare
flailing demons, allowing
self-reflection in the forest
in the valley of the
disillusioned.

Bonny wanderer - distinguish
your guide and your seducer.
One man's angel is
another man's alien, both
a seraph falling - perpetual,
abysmal darkness. Hermes
of an eternal throne,
take to wing-ed heel and run
through wicked skies and knowledgeable trees;
a chaos branch will lead
to fragments of Gallifrey.
© A. Tresidder 2008

So there you go. Strange.

In sports-type news; Maria Sharapova beat Ana Ivanovic. Bah! I was hoping that Ivanovic would pull the rabbit out of the hat and win her first slam. Still, two grand slam finals in the last year, that's not bad going!

In the ice skating, the Kerrs did not get a medal. Bah! Sinead had a bit of a slip that cost them, but saying that, the couples that finished above them were better. So I don't have any qualms about that.

Interesting final.

So Djokovic knocked Federer out of the Aussie Open in straight sets. That was the scenario I was hoping for. It's about time that a grand slam final was Federer-less! I think the last time that happened was at the French Open in 2005. I now have the Tsonga/Djokovic match to look forward to on Sunday morning. The women's final is being shown at 2.30am, so I will have to watch a repeat. Sleep is more important!

The ice skating has been fun to watch. Tomáš Verner won gold, which I was pleased about. Stephane Lambiel came second and Brian Joubert came third. I like watching all three skate, Lambiel is fantastic at spins, Joubert is usually just brilliant (not last night, though!), and Verner just attacks the program and never does less than 100%. He definitely deserved the win. I'm looking forward to watching the free dance in the ice dance competition tonight. I'm hoping that John and Sinead Kerr will do well, and hopefully jump two places to finish in 3rd.

Apart from enjoying all the sports, I seem to have hit a bit of a low. Not feeling quite so chirpy today. *Sigh* I hate it when days of lowness creep up on me and smack me in the face with a kipper. I just feel so despondent, and it is so hard putting on a happy face to try to hide it from Principessa. I would love to bury myself in my duvet and hide away until it passes, but there is no possible way that I can. I can only wait for the pressure that builds up at the front of my head to die away, and that sinking feeling in my gut to resurface. No point trying to do any writing or anything in general when I'm like this. Ho hum.

Possessed!

He's at it again! Jo-Wilfried Tsonga is just a fantastic player. He is battering Nadal at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I love watching Nadal play too, but over the last few years where it has been just Nadal and Federer at the top it did get a bit boring. But now we have Nadal, Federer, Djokovic and Tsonga. That makes all the difference.

(Right now, Tsonga is 2 sets up and 5-2 in the third. I can't see him losing this. BRB, have to watch this now!)

Match Point! ... And gets it with an ace! Absolutely stunning! Take that, Rafa! Sorry, ever since seeing Tsonga play for the first time I've been waiting to see what he can do. Smacking Nadal down in the semi-final of the Aussie Open is just an amazing achievement. Wow!

Principessa has been bitten by the tennis bug, too. She dug out her little Wilson racket and one of the red tennis training balls and we spent about half an hour to fortyfive minutes playing thow and hit. To begin with I was counting to three so she knew when the ball was coming to her, then I stopped counting and let her practice keeping her eye on the ball. She did quite well.

She made me laugh yesterday. She was playing with her back to me on the floor in front of my chair. I noticed that she was trying to take the paper off a crayon, so I told her to stop. She turned around, jumped up on my knee and said;

"Silly Mummy!"

She grabbed my face in her hands, and she had a weird smell on her fingers. I said;

"Eugh! Your hands smell! What have you been eating?"

"Crayons," she said.

Hmmm, honesty!

Still not going anywhere with the story writing, but poetry is a different matter. I suddenly seem very inspired to write poems. I started writing one last night about abysses and demons, and it ended up having a feel of Doctor Who with the appearance of fragments of Gallifrey in there. Took me muchly by surprise as I wasn't thinking of that when I started writing. I am going to sit and work through it later and tidy it up a bit. I might even post it up here.

I need a cuppa fennel tea.

Plays like a demon!

I love watching Jo-Wilfried Tsonga play tennis. That's all there is to it! The match against Mikhail Youzny this morning was fantastic. He is fearless when he plays, and I know I have said that before, but it's so true! I think, with all the confidence he has built for himself over the last week, he should give Nadal a run for his money. I really can't wait to watch that match (though I probably wont be able to as it will most likely be on in the early hours of the morning).

The ice-skating is on now. Something else I like to watch. I just hope that the Kerrs will do well in the European Champs.

I was made up this morning to find that there are people who actually read my blog. Thank you!

(Okay, I know I have the neocounter widget (isn't widget a fantastic word? Makes me think of an old John Smiths advert; Widget, it's got a widget, a lovely widget. A widget it has got!), but you don't know from that if anyone stops to read, or if they just surf past.)

I stayed up last night, hoping to watch some of the early matches, only to find that Eurosport were playing repeats of the Federer/Berdych match. I humphily began flicking through the channels, and ended up on Beeb One watching the movie 'Remember The Titans'. I've never taken the time to watch it before, and I have to say, I really enjoyed it. I think I probably missed the first half hour, but that didn't take away from the rest of the film. I like fact-based films simply for their reality factor.

Well, I'm off now to read some books with Principessa (or rather, just one book, the book she calls the little book. It is called 'The History Of English' and traces back the origin of the English language. She likes the literary darlekects!), and then we will watch Shower Doctor Who (otherwise known as New Earth).

More excitement and disappointment.

In the tennis, that is. I watched the Ivanovic/Wozniaki match last night. I'd heard of Caroline Wozniaki as she had won the Liverpool tournament two years ago, so I was interested to see how she played. The first set was a complete whitewash, the score 6-1 to Ivanovic. In the second set Wozniaki changed. She was not the same player. She really tested Ivanovic, taking her to a tie break. She played some really fantastic shots, and she's definitely someone to watch over the coming years.

I am still collating my poetry. I've got poems written in books all over the place, so I'm trying to find them all. I've got poems dating back to 1991. Once I've got them all sorted out I'll ask Kirst and Gaz to read through them and pick a few, and I'll put them all together and send them out to the Templar Poetry competition. Let's see if anything happens.

Principessa was a funny girl this morning. She was still sleeping at 9am, so I woke her up. She jumped up in bed, pulled her dodie from her mouth and said;

"Oh dear! I have sloppy chops! I have to dried off, Mummy Fish!"

Don't know why I became Mummy Fish this morning. Maybe it was because Principessa was pretending to be a fish in the bath yesterday.

She was also very caring today. She came downstairs with Nanny in tow, calling for our cat Molly. Then Nanny and Principessa went into the kitchen, got a fork and a tin of cat food, and Principessa fed the cat. She was very upset with Molly when she wouldn't go and eat her food (probably because I get upset with Principessa when she refuses to eat), then she was happy when Molly went to eat, then she was again upset when Molly got upset with her bugging her while she ate!

Oooh, talking of Nanny... or Mum where I am concerned. Mum sent an email to the Alkazi Foundation to ask if they could send us copies of some of the photos they hold in the Tressider album. They got back to her this morning telling her that they would ask the Foundation's owner about her request, that an answer would take a few days, but that the answer may well be positive. They also said something about how it was a fortunate time for the contact. Sounds intriguing!

More Japanalia, with extra Marmite.

My mate, Marmite. You either love it or hate it. I love Marmite.

Japan Vs Marmite; I'm surprised at the ration of people how liked it to those who hated it. Most times out of ten you'll find people hate it.

I so need to learn to speak Japanese.

'Cos I'm missing out on stuff like this;



I really like this band, but I don't understand!

Exciting tennis match.

Wow! What a match! Who'd have thought Janko Tipsaravic could take Roger Federer to 5 sets and four and a half hours and nearly win the match! As much as I enjoy watching Federer play, I would have loved to see Tipsaravic beat him. It would have been fantastic. You've got to feel for poor Janko after that.

This morning, I found a site that, I suppose you could say showcased, a short story by Haruki Murakami. It's an interesting way to display a story (just click on the illustrations to read through the story). The story itself is really good too. I think I will be reading a lot by Murakami-san.

I have started organising my poetry. I am just transcribing stuff I have in books onto the computer. I think 2008 should be the year I start sending things out to competitions, magazines, whatever. I missed the opportunity to send the LRRH short story out, as I hadn't finished rewriting it before the submission closing date. I'll try and find somewhere else to send it though.

Bloody Torchwood!

I'm so glad it's back. I missed it. And it has added attractions now, in the form of James Marsters (Spike from Buffy). I have to admit, he was looking quite good ;) I did feel that there was a big nod to Buffy with some lines in the new episode, and the Jack/John fight/kiss scene was very reminiscent of the Buffy/Spike fight/sex scene in the Buffy S6 episode 'Smashed'. There seems to be a lot more humour in it too, and I like the idea of a running storyline. The first series, although there were underlying stories that ran throughout, had episodes that were more stand alone. But I'm glad it's back, sports car driving blowfish and all.

Kirst was around today. We're not actually going to read each other's essays now, Kirst doesn't want to be influenced by what I have put in my essay. We also checked to see if her course materials had been sent out to her only to find out that DHL has supposedly tried to deliver them on 21 December. Well, how was Kirst meant to know when no card had been left? Anyway, DHL has sent the parcel back to the OU, so we had to contact them to have the stuff sent back out again. We also sent an email to find out when they were assigning us with a tutor, too. It's all a bit like pulling teeth at the mo.

Had a bit of a crap evening last night. The controller on my chair riser broke, leaving me without a seat in the front room. We called Social Services careline to report the fault, but it still left me stranded and having to sit upstairs in my room. Despite this, Principessa was very good this morning, sitting upstairs happily watching her DVD's on her little portable player, while every now and again jumping on the bed for a cuddle and requesting tickles. Strange girl! The Social called at around 10am to let us know that someone would be around to fix the chair riser at around midday. *Phew* is all I can say, I am glad that they fixed it so fast. I hate being stuck upstairs.

I still haven't done much writing. I seem to have completely locked out novel and story writing, but I have written a few poems, so I suppose all is not lost. I am glad to see that other writers do not write things that are meant to be full of symbolism. I don't think about underlying messages when I write and just write what I feel is right for the story. I found this out when I sent an excerpt from one of the stories in progress to a Japanese friend. When she wrote back to me, she told me what she thought of my writing, and what she thought it symbolised. It was so interesting to see what she had read into what I had written. It made me feel really good!

I have been reading a lot of Wil Wheaton's blog recently. Not only is it a good read, but it's interesting to see that he shares a lot of the same writing frustrations as lowly folk like me!

On the reading front, I am doing lots. I thought it was a more positive way to fill time while not finding the spirit of writing within me. Pygmalion is finished, I'm part way through 'Jane Eyre' and the Sandman graphic novel 'The Doll's House', and I have two Haruki Murakami books to read once I'm done with the other stuff. Then I'll have a read of 'Wide Sargasso Sea', the Sandman graphic novel 'Dream Country' and then Euripides 'Medea'.

*Phew!* That'll give me something to do!

Travels in time.

Since Christmas, Principessa has once again become enthralled to the Doctor of Who. At least four episodes every day. She is finally out of the Daleks and Cyberman phase, where we had to watch the respective episodes over and over and over again (and as we only have access to series two of the new Doctor, we only have four episodes). So today we are watching Dancing Doctor Who (otherwise known as The Girl In The Fireplace) and Chips and School Doctor Who (otherwise known as School Reunion). I love how Principessa changes the titles, although sometimes it is hard for me to decipher her code names!

I am made up that she loves Doctor Who (to the point where, about seven months ago, she actually said "Mummy, I love Doctor Who."), and she has even been watching some of the Tom Baker ones that have been replayed on UKTV Gold. But she still loves the Daleks more. "Mummy, I really like the Daleks," she said yesterday. I have to agree though, after all, they were given some of the best lines ever in Doomsday. I still laugh when the Dalek says "This is not war. This is pest control," when facing off against the Cybermen. In the words of Christopher Ecclestone's Doctor (possibly one of the worst Doctors, ever), fantastic!

I am very much looking forward to tomorrow evening. Torchwood starts again. Woohoo. Not so much travels in time than travels in Cardiff. But whatever, it is still all good. I am hoping that, now the foundation of the first series has been laid, the second series will be amazing.

Woohoo! Finally started on essay.

Okay, so it's only a 500 word essay, but at least I have the first draft done. I think it sounds all right, but we shall see. (When I think about it, I can easily talk myself out of believing it actually answers the question.) Kirst is popping round today, and we are going to read over each others essays, and hopefully they will both be okay. Then we will go all techno and work out how to submit the damn things!

Principessa has become so mouthy of late. I really don't know what has gotten into her. Mouthy and stubborn. Not great character traits... Well, stubborn can be in certain situations, but not in the situations Principessa is stubborn in. She is driving me up the wall! And the MD makes it that much harder to sort out when she is in a difficult mood.

I've now read the first two books of The Black Orchid series. I must have been distracted when reading them, I don't actually remember what happened. I will have to start over. Poo! I didn't even get to Jane Eyre. I have picked up Pygmalion instead. I'm about half way through, so I'll finish the first read of that today. Then maybe I'll do Jane Eyre, or I might just go straight to Wide Sargasso Sea. I'll see how I'm feeling.

Over the past week I have been trying to work around a prequel to the LRRH (Little Red Riding Hood) story. I am having trouble working out which point of view (POV) to use, and whose POV to use. Sometimes I think Rosie's POV would work, but then I get stuck on how to twist the story. Then I think maybe I should use the Wolf's POV, but then it's not about Rosie. Struggling, I am.

On tennis news, there is no further British interest in the Aussie Open. Andy Murray was almost comprehensively beaten (his third set was good, he won the set 6-0, but he had his butt whooped in the other three sets) by Jo-Wilfried Tsonga. I thought he might get beaten, there is something about the way Tsonga plays, like he is possessed. The other Brit (Scot really) was Jamie Baker, but he stood no chance against Ivo Karlovic. Both are out in the first round. Ho hum.

(Principessa is whinging upstairs because Nanny has kicked her off the computer. All I can hear is "It's my computer," "No, it's my computer!" "Do as you're told" "But I am not naughty" drifting down the stairs. Bolshy Principessa.)

Little Miss D.I.Y.

"We going to B and Q?" Principessa asks.

"No, not today. We're going home now," I say.

"Nope, nope, nope, nope."

"Yep, yep, yep, yep."

"Nope, nope, nope!"

"What do you want to go to B and Q for anyway?"

"To get a screwdriver."

"What do you want a screwdriver for?"

"To fix things."

"What do you want to fix?"

"Walls."

"Why do you want to fix the walls?"

"I want to take the walls down."

"But if you take the walls down, the house will fall down."

"Oh. But I need a screwdriver."

It's a good job technology hasn't got teeth...

Because it sucks. And it sucks big time.

We finally went 21st century with the V+ box, only to find that a number of the channels don't work. What really gets my goat is that More 4 has died, that means I wont be able to watch the new series of ER which started last night. Grrrrr! I've already had to give up with Lost and 24 because Sky 1 was rudely taken from us after a horrible and needless fight between Virgin and Sky.

Ho hum.

(I know this moan is about something really mundane, but being of the not going out type, except when it's necessary, I like to watch me TV shows!)

While I remember, you may have noticed a flashy mouse over thataway ------------>
Well, please sign up to it and raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Campaign by using their search engine (given, it's not as good as google, but google doesn't raise money just by clicking it), it would mean a great deal :D

Well, I'm off to finally read Black Orchid followed by Jane Eyre.

And the bed nearly folded me in half!

Well, kind of.

I had to go to a disability place called Lifehouse today. They had asked me to go to try out a profile bed. That is a bed that rises, has an adjustable backrest, and the bottom bit rises up just under the knees so that your legs are a little more comfy. Well, 'twas strange. I've agreed to them providing me with one, but it will take some getting used to. I know it will be of benefit in the long term, but I really don't like all this motorised stuff.

While I was there they had me try a spring seat. It didn't help because I haven't got enough mobility to allow it to begin to lift me up. They also tried me with this belt hoist that is supposed to help my Dad when lifting me. If I had more strength in the back of my legs and around my knees it might have helped, but as I don't it didn't.

It's not very nice, not knowing of things that can help with transfers and stuff, and it makes me feel quite bad when someone suggests something that I know wont work. I feel bad when they suggest something that might work and I have to say "Yeah, but it would only work in conjunction with ...". I feel like I'm being ungrateful or reluctant to help myself. Harrumph!

One thing I can say, Principessa was absolutely fantastic while we were there. We found a box of toys in the reception that we took into the test room, so while I was trying things out she lay on the floor and played quietly with the toys. Just as we started getting ready to leave she put the toys neatly back in the box and said "It's time to go home." She is just brilliant. I would love it if she would tidy her toys up at home, though!

"But my bum is too small!"

Don't you just wish you could say that? Well, that is Principessa's new moan for when she doesn't want to do as she is told. "I can't because my bum is too small!" What can you say to that? Not only that but she put her jeans on before, which in itself is fantastic, but they're on back to front! She makes me laugh!

She is a genius at work. She is starting to tell more stories now and I love it. The only thing is, they are always about Captain DJ. I am so sick of hearing about Captain DJ. But she is inventing characters too. The other day she told me about the Wire Cat. That sounds like an interesting character. But he seems to be an angry cat, as he wags his tail and scares Captain DJ away.

Over the last few weeks I have been reading the blog by the writer Elizabeth Bear. I think I must have found it on the SF/F Writers Who Blog page. I seem to check in at her blog about two to three times a day now. I am totally immersed in her writing bubble (I just wish some of her motivation and shiny would rub off onto me!) and some of the writing advice she gives is spot on. I think I might have to read a book by her now (I am ashamed to say that I had not heard of her before) because if her fiction is anywhere as good as her blog, then it has to be good!

My Little Terror

No, it's not what you think. Principessa is watching Charlie and Lola at the moment and she's watching one of her favourite episodes called 'My Little Town'. I don't know why, but Principessa is insistent that it is called 'My Little Terror'. I suppose, given the fact that Charlie is very selfish in the episode and doesn't give Lola a chance to play with the game that their grandparents gave them, it could seem like a little terror to Principessa. When she plays with other kids she is very happy to share (though not if she's playing with me or Nan or Grandand, then everything is hers alone!), so she probably feels that Charlie is terrorising Lola. Or maybe I am just looking too deeply into this!

I have started to do a write around for the problems in my story. (Dagnamit! I had some weird dreams last night and I didn't write them down when they woke me up. I just went straight back to sleep.) I think I might be getting somewhere in resolving the problems. With the help of a book on Celtic tree beliefs there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. It's possible going to take a few more days of working around but I think I might just get there.

Just lately, Neil Gaiman has been talking about Teller (of Penn and Teller fame) and his plans to do a very gory and with magic version of the Scottish Play. It sounds so interesting that I wish I could go and see it. It sucks to be stuck here! I wonder if they will film a showing and put it on DVD? I hope so, it sounds so intriguing!

Writing help.

Firstly, before the writing stuff, I want to say this. At the moment my heart goes out to a friend of a friend who is experiencing a really horrible and life-numbing situation. At times like this there are no words of comfort to ease the pain. My thoughts are with her and her family and friends.

Now for the writing stuff.

I was pointed (well, not personally) to this post about rewriting through various blogs I read every now and again. I think it is very interesting and thought provoking. It is also very useful for a newbie writer like myself. It informs of the importance of starting a story from the right point to gain maximum impact, and how structural editing should be done before line editing. There is a lot of other useful information in the article. I know I shall be referring back to it as I get further into writing.

If that further happens. The evil demons No'Confidence and Whoderyer Thinkyakidding have reared their ugly stepsister faces. My words have been captured and imprisoned in a damp, dark dungeon (can you see the Warden of Alliteration whipping my exposed back?). The hero, Pen, with his sidekick Woodpulp, is nowhere to be seen. Their stand-in, Com Puter, is feeling the vicious, blinding rage of Blank Page. Who will save me from my wordless fate?

ARGH!

Now for the tennis news.

Andy Murray won the Doha final. Yay him! It was a really good match, dependent on a deciding set. Stanislas Wawrinka really put him through the wringer, and some of the rallies were exceptional. Let's hope he carries this form into the Aussie Open.

I don't want to be a secret.

So, Principessa was getting ready to go out to the shops with Grandand and Auntie Linds when Grandand tried to put her (well, mine really) hat on. As he put it on her head it covered her eyes.

"But I don't want to be a secret," she said.

How cute can you get? Grandand took the hat from over her eyes, but by that time Principessa wanted to be secret. She put the hat back over her eyes and then tried feeling her way out into the hall. Sweet little soul!

I am just settling down to watch the Murray/Wawrinka final. At the mo it's 1-1 in the first set, both players winning their game off the back of the other's serve. For some reason, I don't have much hope of Murray winning. Wawrinka seems to be on such good form.

I think I'll sign off here. My yummy scrummy stuffed vine leaves should be cool enough to eat now.

Families who grow in trees!

Over the last few months my Mum has been doing some family tree building. For the last month, she has been concentrating on my Dad's Dad's side of the family.

This picture is of (L-R) Johnny, Annie and Rosie. Johnny (or John Tolmie) is my great, great grandfather. The resemblance between him and my bro, Gaz, is remarkable. His father was John Nicholas Tresidder, and he was a surgeon in the esteemed Indian Medical Services in the 1840's-70's.

My Mum found the picture in a collection on this website that holds the 'Tressider Album'. It makes me wonder if the website has spelled the name wrong, or is the name changed from Tressider to Tresidder at some other point.

The family history is interesting. My Granddad's mother was involved in a suicide pact, only she survived and her husband (her 2nd husband that is) died. If it hadn't have been for a newspaper report about it, she would not have seen my Granddad (who she nicknamed 'Squibs') after a ten year gap. I don't know what the reason for the separation was.

Well, enough family history for now. Principessa had a strange turn last night just before she went to sleep. She started talking about 'a man' and then she became really freaked out. This is what she was saying.

"The man is coming. The man is sleeping. He dreams lots of dreams. The man is coming. I don't want the man to come, I don't wan the man to come. He is a nasty man."

So, to help her calm down and go to sleep, I had to make a protection spell for her. By this time she was very worried and crying, hugging right up next to me and holding on as tight as she could. Here is the poem (or spell! * denotes the change from her name).

*Principessa's protection spell.

Nasty man,
Prepare thyself!
My spell is harmful
To your health.
In children's sleep
You cause them harm,
You haunt their dreams,
You steal their calm.
It's time for you
To sleep the sleep.
You shall not make
My baby weep.
My love for *her
Is pure and true.
Be gone! Cruel man,
Away with you!

© A. Tresidder 2008

At least it helped her to sleep. Poor babes!

Oh no, not the bones!

Principessa and I started reading a book on the human body yesterday. As we read through, we reached the page concerning the skeleton. One of the interactive parts of the page had a spinning circle with different foods on, and the legend 'Eating different types of food helps the bones to grow strong and healthy'. We looked through the different foods and Principessa seemied to be quite interested and excited about it.

"That's why it's important to eat your dinner," I said.

"No Mummy, I don't like to eat me dinner," Principessa said.

"But eating food helps your bones to grow."

"But I don't like to eat bones."

And there you have it.

I have started working on the war poetry part of my OU prep material. It's interesting how different I see the poetry now, as to when I was 14 studying it in school. The poems hold much more of an impact now, especially as I understand a bit more about poetry and have stopped to listen about people's experiences in the war. When we studied war poetry in school I wasn't very interested. I did not read or write poems then, and I did not want to look too keen in school as I was being bullied anyway. So I distanced myself . (I did this a year later when my English teacher tried to get me to read Romeo And Juliet after I used a passage from the play in a short story for a piece of coursework. If course, I said no. I didn't want to be targeted for doing extra work.) I wish I had taken the time to read the poems properly back then, and do other things that may have been beneficial for me.

Andy Murray continues his good form, despite a blip in the first set of his second match. He won yesterday's match 1-6 6-0 6-1. Good stuff. He might have more of a fight on his hands today. He goes up against Thomas Johansson.

I think I need to write down the ideas I have late at night. I have so many starts of stories, or ideas for middles, just before I go to sleep. I don't write them down though, because it is so hard to get up. I will have to start though, because I am doing myself out of some good ideas and, possibly, good writing. Stupid me.

The first of the year.

So what's to say about New Year? Nowt, really. Took Principessa to bed at around 7.30pm, then stayed in bed for a while because I was feeling ill. When the bleurghness subsided I went back downstairs and played on the Wii for a while with my Dad. And that was about the sum of things.

Andy Murray started his tennis campaign for the year with a fantastic 6-0 6-2 win over Olivier Rochus. Unfortunately Elena Baltacha did not win her match. So still, no decent female British players. Pah.

So now the year has begun, what are my goals? Hmmm, I've been thinking about that today.

1. Lose some weight (have to sort out a plan of action for this one.)
2. Cut out chocolate. Argh, I loves me choccie!
3. Kick drinking coffee again.
4. Get Principessa into some sort of bedtime routine.
5. Buy a printer/scanner/photocopier so I can start Principessa with some Jolly Phonics stuff.
6. Relax a bit more, and don’t get intimidated by the Open Uni course.

As for writing;

1. Write at least 7000 words per month on the novel.
2. Write one short story per month (I need to start working on short story inspiration).
3. Write poetry when and where the mood suits.
4. Update the journal at least three times a week.
5. Write down as many of my crazy dreams as I can.

And that is that. I might even attempt to write some book reviews. That might even help me with my uni course. So, if I keep to the plans, then I should have the first draft of the novel written by around October. Let's see how I go.

It's not even the new year and the tennis is already back...

Is the whinge that I'm hearing from my Dad. 'Tis not my fault, 'tis not the tennis player's fault. It's just the way it is. And it's on, because I like to watch the tennis.

Principessa had a lovely mood on today. She was so good while we were at the bookshop and coffeeshop. Grandand left us in the coffeeshop to have our drinks, so it was just Principessa and me, and it was soooo nice having mummy-daughter time while we were out. That doesn't happen too often because if Principessa decides she doesn't want to be good, I am unable to get the wheelchair moving fast enough to catch her. But it was lovely, and I am very contented this afternoon.

I have been working on a story and character outline for a story that has been niggling at the back of my head for about the last year and a half. I've started doing some proper research for it and it is feeing more and more interesting to me. I'm just having problems with the characters at the moment. I need to think more about their motivations.

The LRRH short story has also opened up some new possibilities. The character seems to have piqued my interest, so I think I might like to do some more writing with her, but also the background for the story seems to have fitted into an idea I began scribbling down last year. It may lead to some more short stories for other chararcters in that world. Woohoo!

I think I will have to transcribe the NaNo story onto computer soon, just to get back into the plot. It might help me work through some of the plot demons that are currently possessing me. I am still unsure how to work my way out of my literary prison, the dynamite device is eluding me. Harrumph!

Apart from all the writing stuff, I've still got to do a lot of work on the OU stuff. I think I might have to start sitting down at night and working through some of it. I have got to write a short essay pretty soon, though I am not too worried about that. I am more worried about the second assignment, as it is covering art, poetry and philosophy. Having never studied art or philosophy, I am a bit dubious about how I will handle it. But we'll see how it goes.

So, I am going now to write out some sort of time plan so I can fit everything into the day! I think I may have to start having early mornings, or just continue having late nights. I'll have to have a go at both to find out what time of day I am most productive.

Just one last thing;

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!

The horror of bedtime.

I hate it. I really do. Taking Principessa to bed last night was completely draining and horrifying. She decided she wanted to go to sleep in Nanny's bed, but when Nanny left her room, Principessa had to go to. So Nanny told her she couldn't sleep in her room. I then then tried to take Principessa into our room, but to no avail. Cue the kick-off. Out comes the tears and the tizzyfit, and me shouting (I hate shouting at her), and the refusal to go to bed.

Nanny comes back, and Principessa squeezes past me (I am stood still on the landing, worried that Principessa might just push me over the banister to get what she wants. Yeah, she's only three, but I'm not good with balance.). Nanny then changes her mind and allows Principessa to sleep in her room. So not impressed. Things like that only teach her that if she can't get what she wants from me, she only has to go cry to Nanny. Fantastic, not. Pah! And then, this morning, Principessa tells me she doesn't need me and doesn't want me, all because I didn't put CBeebies on when she demanded it. I am so not looking forward to more days like this.

I have been looking through and trying to do some of the exercises in the prep material for the OU course. Hmmm. I'm not sure if I will do well on this, but I can only try. I am still trying to get my head around the workload of the actual course. I have to try and devise a plan so I can fit things in and around Principessa. She doesn't start school again until February, and I am just hoping that she settles in this time around. To be perfectly honest, I'm not counting on it happening.

I think I have finally finished editing my LRRH story. I think it has changed greatly from the first draft. I am feeling quite proud of it, and was thinking of submitting it to a publisher for inclusion in an anthology. Maybe I'll just submit it to a magazine instead. I think I'd feel more comfortable with submitting to a magazine first. I need to get some submission experience before I go for anthologies. Anyway, we'll see. I enjoyed writing the story, regardless.

I have had some more ideas bombarding me, this time for a sci-fi story. I'm thinking that I might be able to integrate some of these crazy dreams I have been having recently into the storyline. I just have to go and do some research into Victorian society.

I might just ressurect the NaNo story. I feel it needs revisiting for a while.

Happy Holiday!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all. Have a fantastic time, and may all your wishes come true.

I'm off to wrap pressies.

Brain is in subconscious overdrive.

I like sleeping. Lots. But not when my mind is playing funny tricks on me (even when these tricks could be used in a story.).

The last two nights, I have been having the strangest of strange dreams. The dream the night before last wasn't too bad, it was a chase and hide dream, so for the most part whoever I was sat back in a hiding place watching the action. And interesting action it was too, with super-fast martial arty blokes with swords...

But last night, a totally different chase type dream all together. Whoever I was happened to be on the run. It was tense and dangerous, and when it woke me up I was breathing shallow, hoarse breaths (like it was actually me legging it) and my heart was pumping like it never has in my chest. (Okay, I lie. It pumped like that a few months ago when I had another dream where I had been eviscerated by some weird alien. Well, I never said my dreams were sane!) Not only was my heart thumping and my chest hurting, but blood was hammering out some tribal beat in my head. It all made me feel quite afraid. I had to wake myself up fully before I had the chance to go back to sleep, so worried was I that I would close my eyes and the dream continue.

It only makes me think that my muse wants me to start a new story. There are some intriguing ideas appearing in the dreams of late, but by God, do they hurt!

Goal achieved!

Yay! Woohoo! I've finally broken the duck!

I have finished my LRRH short story. I can't actually believe it! It's the first piece of writing, apart from poems, that I have completed since I was in school. I feel good! I finally feel like I've achieved something. Now all I have to do is work out my plot angsts for what was the NaNo story and get going again with that.

*Sigh*

Oh, on other things, Principessa insisted on writing a letter to Grandand the other night before she went to sleep. Here it is.

Dear Grandand,
I wanted to give you a postcard.
Gently and Doctor are lost.
I love you lots and lots, Grandand.
Captain DJ jumps up and down.
Captain DJ gets her feet stuck.
Nina doing handstanding.
Mister Maker sits down to read his book.
Charlie and Lola scratch their heads.
Captain DJ is so really tired.
Captain DJ is drinking her bottle o' tea.
Principessa wants to be a mouth.
Captain DJ is fixing all of his walls.
Captain DJ is clapping her hands.
Captain DJ is brushing her teeth.
Principessa is eating her dinner.
Mummy needs to help Principessa.
Principessa is going to the hospital.
Principessa is so really tired.
We having a bath, splashing.
Principessa is going to do painting.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Principessa loves Nanny lots and lots.
Principessa is doing the spiders.
Can you tell a note for Mr. Tumble?
Mr. Tumble is sliding up the bed.
Mr. Tumble is swimming on the beach.
Principessa is doing the shadow.
Principessa loves Mummy too.
Captain DJ jumped off the bed and hurt her back.
Lots of love, Principessa xxxxxxx
(C) Principessa 2007

The Golden Compass.

********SPOILERS**********

I don't see what all the fuss is about. Having read the books and enjoyed them immensely, I thought the film, despite a few key omissions, was good. Yeah, good. Not great, but good. I feel that for the sake of possibly a half hour extra, with some attention being paid to the important little details, this film could have been a masterpiece.

For instance, the fact that Lyra is an habitual liar was hardly touched upon, so when she spun her fib about being Iorek's demon to Ragnar, the Ice Bear King, it lost some of its impact. This lie was important as Lyra was lying 'for the good', but due to the fact that her lying hadn't been much touched upon earlier in the film it gave a key moment in the storyline a very lack-lustre, put in as an afterthought, feeling.

Another point that got my goat was that not enough emphasis was placed on the fear of the Gobblers. There was hardly a mention of the Gobblers, even though this was a very important plot device.

At the start of the film, and the introduction of Lord Asriel, I feel another important plot device was missing. In the book, during his presentation about Dust, he shows the board a skull that has had holes drilled into it. This device of trepanning is important further along into the story and would be part of the second film.

But anyway, apart from this, I thought the film was more or less faithful to the book. The CGI effect for Lyra reading the alethiometer was overused and detracted from the film a little, though it was a good idea. I was very happy that enough screen time had been devoted to the fight between Iorek and Ragnar, as this was a turning point for Iorek. The fight between the Gyptians and the Samoyed guards a Bolvangar was also given the screen time it was owed.

I had been reading reviews and some mentioned that the last few chapters had been omitted. I can see why this was done, and the film was ended at a logical point, but if they had gone that little bit further I am sure they could have ended it on more of a cliffhanger.

That all being said, I think that the makers have made a suitable on-screen representation of Philip Pullman's 'Northern Lights'. I can understand some of the omissions in the story for the purpose of making the film, and at least the producers and screenwriters didn't just rip pages out of the book and deem them suitable enough as I fear was the case with Christopher Paolini's 'Eragon'.

Christmas is coming...

But at least I only have one pressie to wrap up. Well, one pressie that I can get my hands on. I'm hoping Principessa's and Gaz's pressies get here before Christmas. I am kind of losing hope for Gaz's pressie. Ho hum!

We still have to get a tree. I have no idea where the tree was put away last year (yeah, a plastic tree :( No smell of pine and the great outdoors here.), or the deccos, for that matter. So it's a new tree this year. About time too, I say, because the tree we have has been making it's yearly appearance now for at least the last 10 years.

Principessa is all happy again. She can watch her already extensive DVD collection now that the DVD player has been sorted out. Something went wrong with the original one, it just stopped playing the discs. I think Principessa night have overworked the poor thing! Anyway, Grandand took it back to the shop and they gave us a new one. When we put the new one on, we could hear the audio, but there was no picture. We tried switching buttons around and blah blah blah, but nothing would reinstate the picture. Grandand took that one back the other day, they gave him a replacement, and now Principessa has turned into a girl with DVDs in her eyes. She was so excited this morning when she realised she could come downstairs and watch Shaun the Sheep and Charlie and Lola.

I think I'm going to have to buckle down and do some OU stuff now. I will get all worried and frustrated and disappointed with myself if I don't give it a go. I am still feeling all intimidated though.

You gotta love Bruce!

So, I wouldn't normally advertise an aftershave, but it's Bruce, and he's singing Duran Duran's Hungry Like The Wolf.

Fantastic!

And they say about the Acropolis where the Parthenon is...

Well, that doesn't really matter. What matters is that QI is a fantastic show, and only on QI would you have Jimmy Carr and Bill Bailey make Stephen Fry break down in laughter by singing "And they say about the Acropolis where the Parthenon is..." after he had a block with speaking. 'Twas great! But after watching the outtakes, it only confirmed that I still want to live in Johnny Vegas's head.







Okay, this isn't the outtakes, but still.

PANIC!!!

Sorry for the three exclamation marks, but 'tis how I feel. I received the first half of my OU course today, and just looking at it scares me. I am in a state of panic, depression, hap-hazard failure, and disappointment. Disappointed that I am already letting it get to me before the course has even started. I'm not even through the first week of the prep material. ARGH!

I think I need to be beaten around the head with a kipper, or something of the like. Why do I do these things to myself? It's not even started yet, and already I am not giving myself a chance to ease myself in. Talk about dumb. If I just shut my internal dialogue and think about this logically I might get somewhere. But no, I look at the materials and fold. Bah!

On writing... The LRRH story seems to be going okay. I'm quite surprised that it is. It is good that a little bit of inspiration has edged its way into my mulchy brain. I still haven't done much with the NaNo story since December, though I might have a little bit of movement in my thinking for that one. I've also been thinking a lot about my kid's story, and there might be a little more writing on that one too. Woohoo!

Well, back to the tippy-tapping on LRRH.

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Brrr! Shiver...

It's bloody cold! Okay, I know it's probably not as cold here as it is in other places in the world, but for here, and for me, it's bloody freezing! I have to say though, it's the first morning I've got up (thank you Principessa, I had I lie in until about 9.30am) and there has still been ice on the road. BRRRRRRR! I know I'd complain, but I just wish we had some snow, then it would be worth being cold.

Nanny is downstairs at the moment, as Principessa has kicked Nanny out of her room so she can watch the TV. She is such a little miss! She was very lovely this morning, getting up on the chair on the landing so that she could give me a hug a and a kiss. When I went into Nanny's room, she jumped up on Nanny's bed so she could continue with the hugging. Aw, she is so sweet! I just hope she gets out of this phase of calling things 'bloody'. (She shouts at her books; 'Get up there, you bloody books,' she will say.)

I am still stalled with my story. I think I need my starter motor kicked! I've not stopped writing completely though. I've started writing a short story, the first since I was about 16 years old. Long time ago! I am having a go at writing an updated version of Little Red Riding Hood. So far, I think it is going well. But I think I realised what one of my writing problems is while pondering on words for the new story. My brain works faster than my hands, and I continually mull things around, even when I'm not writing, so I can almost write the whole story in my head way before I write it on paper. This causes my head to think that the story is done, causing me then to stall. I don't exactly know how I am going to get around this, but I will have to work something out.

Feeling like a fraud.

I am banging my head against a brick wall. I have completely stalled with the writing. I think I have managed about 370 words over the last 10 days. Awful! I really need to have a guaranteed couple of hours to myself to work through the mulch that is the story, and unstick my feet from the boggy ground. Ho hum!

I am getting more and more anxious about the OU course. I'm worried that I wont have the time to do it, that the bits I do do will be horrendous, basically that I'll be crap at the course full stop. Can you tell my confidence is shot at the moment? Yeah? Damn, I thought I was hiding it well.

Principessa has been learning some new nursery rhymes lately. Nanny taught her Little Miss Muffet and Little Jack Horner. Well, Little Jack Horner changed his name to Captain DJ, and he doesn't pull plums out of pies. No, he pulls out bananas, apples and grapes. She is also insisting on singing 'Bluest skies', otherwise known as Sweet Child O' Mine by G'n'R, late at night. She's a funny little girl, she calls me Mummy Alligator or Mummy Crocodile ever since I taught her how to say 'See you later, alligator. In a while, crocodile.'

Improve your vocab and earn rice.

Have a look. Go to freerice.com. Have fun learning new words, while earning grains of rice for charity.

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Finally! I have started breaking through my block. It wasn't so much a problem with the writing, but a problem with the plot.

I knew I needed something to happen for something else to work later on in the story. Now, I've just moved from the story of the two main characters to the proper introduction of the antagonist, but something wasn't working. (Lots of somethings here, I know!) This, I am sure, is the reason for becoming stuck. Last night, as I sat in bed vegging out in front of the TV, something clicked. I think it might have been the fairy of inspiration bashing me over the head with the Twisty-Turny-Stick-Of-Twisty-Turny-Plotting. *Phew* I thought I was going to be obsessing about it for ever! So, I think that this might be significant enough to pull me through and get me writing frequently again.

The weather has been so bad lately that I haven't been able to take Principessa out. We need to go and buy some paper for her to scribble on, as the walls have been taking a battering due to the lack of paper. Argh! I also need to buy some pads for me.

I will have to start having a look through the preparatory material for my OU course. Yes, it's here! I am starting to worry though, I am feeling like I have bitten off more than I can chew with it. But, if I don't at least try, then I must be stupid!

I am not so worried about Christmas, however, as I have more or less everything done. Pressies have been bought. Pressies have been wrapped. Pressies for everyone, that is, but Principessa. She changes her mind so often that I am waiting for the 20th to go out and buy her stuff. I think I will be buying a wooden castle for her because she talks about castles so much. I will also get her some characters too, Prince and Princess, Wizard and Dragon etc. I am sure that the Night Garden characters will be living there though!

Autosports Awards.

Last night, Dad and I did what we always do on a Tuesday; we watched Spooks, but made time to watch the second episode on BBC3. When that had finished, I happened to turn over and catch the end of the Autosports Awards (didn't even know they had awards!). I'm glad I did, as Lewis Hamilton was there, scooping all the awards.

To begin, he won Rookie of the Year for his rookie year in F1. But then he won the next two awards, Best British Competition Driver and Best International Competition Driver. Fantastic as that was, I enjoyed the presentation of the awards by Viviane Senna more. Aw, he was so star struck! You could see he was getting all emotional when she compared him to her brother, Ayrton Senna. It was good to see. Made me smile, it did.

I still haven't picked up pen and paper. My brain was mulching last night, however, on how to continue the story, so I think I may try and break my writing dam today. I am feeling a bit better about it, so today is as good a day as any (or, as my fingers tried to type, as food a day as any).

But first, I must build a 'car-sle' with Principessa.

Momentum halted!

Well, the feeling of 'WooHoo' at reaching 10,000 words has been followed with the massive deflation of momentum, 'Whump'. The brain has flat-lined, the hand is refusing to do any work, citing writer's cramp, and there is a general feeling of blahness. Hmph.

I was feeling so good at the end of the month, but now I feel like a crumpled up piece of paper. Argh! I want to write, but I can't bring myself to do any. I'm wondering if I should just give myself a little break, but at the same time, I can't stop thinking about the story (Grrr, Principessa, you're letting the warm out again!) and working on some little twists. Maybe I should just take a break and let these ideas percolate in the Giant Coffepot of Thoughts and Plot Things, and pick up a pen later in the week.

I think the added pressure of filling out stupid amounts of forms has also deadened the writing process. Forms for the Open Uni, forms for the DSA, forms for tests of resources. Too many forms. The thought of a pen a paper puts me into Fear of Forms shock!

I think I need more sleep and a brain that feels less like squished cotton wool. (I hope the trip to the bookshop with Principessa this afternoon will help with this.)

Objective accomplished.

Yay! I did it! It is a small victory, but the word count for November ended at 10,070 words. Now I've just got to keep it going though December. All I need to do now is to cut the days I slack off. I know, I only slacked off for 5 days last month, but if I had written 300 words per day on those days, I would have reached 11,500 words. Ah poo!

I think I need to break the TV in my bedroom again. I ended up vegging out in front of it last night, instead of sleeping or doing something more productive. I don't think I would have been able to do anything though, Principessa had pounded my brain to mush by refusing to go to sleep until around 11.00pm. She just had to play Oopsy-Daisy and Tombly-boos slide on Mummy's matress! But still, even though she was being a pain, she was still cute.

So, the winter sport season has started. I have been watching the biathlon and ski-jumping. Oh, and a little bit of skiing. I winced when I heard about what had happened to one of the guys who was among the favourites to win the Ski World Championships. His name is Aksel Lund Svindal, and during a training session on Friday he crashed, resulting in a broken nose and cheekbone, and a 13 cm long tear between his groin and rear. OUCH! That last injury does not sound good. I'm wincing now, just writing about it.

I think I should get back to writing. Principessa is pre-occupied with Nanny, so I have a little free time.

Approaching 10,000 words and the stupidness of PC

I'm nearly there! Just got about another 70 to write, and I'll have hit my goal! Yay me! I am feeling quite satisfied with myself for getting this far. Now I have to set my goal for December.

December writing goal: 10,000 words @ 325 words per day.

I think I may better this, as I am sure I could get about 500 words per day on most days. Let's hope I haven't jinxed myself by saying that!

Well, enough of my self-praise (it's not often I get to do that though!). I ended up watching a program called 'This Week' just before I went to bed last night. I wish I hadn't, as it stopped me going to sleep. It set my mind off.

The section of the program that I caught had singer Katie Melua talking about immigration and integration. Some of what she said was quite true . The English government (not really the rest of the UK) are stupidly aggressively politically correct (PC), causing the identity of England to be pulled out from under us. Just because the government do not want to offend other cultures, England has had to relinquish its culture. How dumb is that? The Irish, Scots and Welsh are fiercely proud of their culture and heritage, and they make a point of how important it is to them, but recent years have seen practices of the English almost outlawed. We are allowed to openly celebrate St. Patrick's Day, the Irish Saint's day, but the English have to fight to celebrate St. George's Day. It's seen as an insult for us to put the flag of St. George up, as we might offend other cultures. I see that as an offence against our own culture.

I remember when I was younger; it was not a crime for a school to put on a Nativity play. But now schools, and even workplaces and churches, are seen to be causing offence to other religions. Okay, so I am not particularly religious, but the Nativity used to be a big part of Christmas tradition, and contributed to some of the magic of Christmas when I was a child. How wrong is it to steal that tradition from our younger generation? We also used to celebrate Mayday with dances around a Maypole. I haven’t seen that practice for a long time. I haven’t seen a school fete around here for ages, another part of the Mayday celebration.

How can people who come to this country be expected to integrate into the society if there is nothing there for them to use as a starting point. Afternoon tea and scones is not enough of a start. What is the point of pussyfooting around people who enter our country, by respecting their culture, if we haven’t got a culture for them to respect? This country, even for all its good points, is a farce thanks to the government.

(By the way, I do not support the BNP, too extreme for me. I sit and shout at the TV, and that’s as far as my politics go. Well, and now here too.)

Blah!

Day 28: 542 words
Day 29: 299 words
Day 30: 84 words (so far)

Hehehehe

So the "Mind the gap" lady of the London Underground has been sacked for having a sense of humour and recording spoofs of announcments and putting them on her website. This spoof just made me laugh out loud!

boomp3.com

Other spoofs can be found here.

Money for scrap paper.

I had to go to the doctors last night to get a doctor's letter to confirm the LGMD, because the OU had sent me a form to apply for Disability Student's Allowance (DSA), even though I can't be bothered applying for it. What a farce! Five minutes to get my info up on the computer, scribble down a few words on a sheet of headed A5, cost; £10! Unbelievable! I wish I could earn a tenner for five minutes work.

On the subject of the OU, I have just got to sort out the last of this DSA form, confirm something on the registration form, and I'm all sorted to start in February. Kirsty came around yesterday, and we sorted out her form for financial support, asked for a new submission date as she had missed the first one because she is waiting for her passport. So at least she can do the OU course too. After all, it was Kirsty who suggested doing a course, and then we trawled through the site to see what was on offer. As we both want to improve our English, we have chosen to do a BA (Hons) Humanities and English Language. I'm looking forward to one of the last courses we will study as it is a creative writing course.

Well, I didn't write any more on the story last night. Instead I went to bed at 9.30pm. Principessa was still awake, so if I start going to bed earlier maybe she will start going to sleep earlier. I'm hoping it will get her into a pattern. I am continuing with getting up early and doing some writing before Principessa wakes up, though.

Day 28: 506 words (with more later, hopefully.)

Oh, so very tired.

I wish I hadn't asked my Dad to wake me this morning before he left for work. But I had to make sure I would get some writing done. I was quite pleased with what was written over the hour I could concentrate. Then I put the book down, snuggled back into bed and sort of drifted in and out of sleep for an hour before Principessa woke up smiling.

I think I should be on target for the 10,000 words this month. Over last night and this morning I scribbled down just under 1,100 words. So to reach 10,000 I have just over another 1,100 to do over the next three days. I'm feeling quite confident at the moment, but I'm sure that will change (it's inevitable when you are an optimistic pessimist!).

It's surprising where this story is taking me. When I was planning I knew I needed to have some way of introducing a plot device - at that time I didn't even know what the plot device was - and I was having some trouble. Last night, while writing, it just introduced itself with no prior warning! (Thinking about it, that is a lie. The plot device had previously been introduced, though I didn't know until last night that I would use it for this part of the story.) It sounds silly, as if I had no choice in the matter. I suppose I didn't. It was a necessary part of the story, and the story took care of itself, making sure that the things that were needed had been included.

I had always wondered about this phenomenon when reading how other writers described how some parts of a story just write themselves, of how a story could take on a life of its own. I was very suspicious of this, thinking that they were just working to a plan and making the writing process sound more fantastical than it is by saying such things. Now I realise why it hasn't happened to me sooner. I didn't believe in the intrinsic rules of writing, of trusting that the part of me that is my muse would take care of important little details such as plot devices if I just let it run free with the pen and paper. I'm glad it has happened, as it was something that I had to learn.

Day 26: 669 words
Day 27: 424 words (so far. I'll still do some more writing before I go to sleep tonight.)

Good news!

Yay me! I received a letter this afternoon informing me that I had qualified for a grant to cover the course fees for the first part of my Open Uni course. Woohoo! At least I don't have to worry about that now. Just have to send the registration confirmation off now.

Birthday and Opera

It was my birthday yesterday. I spent most of it feeling quite low, but that's just the aging process for you ;)

I went to my favourite restaurant, Sapporo Teppanyaki, for a meal. Ooohh, yum yum! I really love the food there. I had Ika Tempura (battered, deep fried squid), Maki sushi, duck in raspberry sauce with fried rice, vegetables and potatoes, and ice cream for dessert. Kayte told them it was my birthday, so they came out with drums and tambourines and a special birthday ice-cream 'cake' singing happy birthday. Much fun was had by all (especially when drinking the sake/pimms/ginger ale cocktail.)

On Saturday night I went to see 'Carmen'. It was the first time I have been to watch an opera, and I was quite impressed. The sets were good, the costumes were fantastic (the flamenco skirts were amazing, I wanted one!), and the music was great. The only problem I had was that at some points the orchestra was much louder than the singers, and the woman playing Carmen didn't have a fantastic voice. In parts she almost sounded like a pre-pubescent boy when his voice is breaking. The surtitles also helped me a bit, not knowing the language. Someone said that the surtitles distracted from the opera, but I didn't think they did, in fact, there were times I was totally enraptured by what as going on on the stage that I completely forgot to read what was on the surtitle screen. I think I may have to go and see another opera soon (Madame Butterfly, hopefully!)

Principessa has been a funny one lately. I bought two teddies, one for her and one for me, and you can take the wheat bag stomach out of them and warm them in the microwave. Principessa was quite impressed by that last night, but over Friday and Saturday, she has just been playing with the teddy. She called her ted Jack, and I called mine Frax, after one of the characters in my story. Well, Principessa has decided that Frax is the more cuddly, and has robbed him! Cheeky monkey.

She was in the car when Grandand picked us up last night. She was having fun with Uncle Gaz playing with her Lunar Jim slippers when she turned to Gaz and said:

"Nanny said she would take the scissors to Jim!"

I couldn't help but laugh at that! I told Nanny, and Nanny said she was a fibber!

Hmmm, NaNo. Not been going too well. I have decided that my goal is to get 10,000 words before the end of the month. So far I have around 7800 words, so I have to do 2200 words in the next four days. That's 550 words per day. Hmm, that's some work to do. At least it seems to be going somewhere now!

Day 23: 538 words
Day 24: 429 words
Day 25: 0 words

World's Worst Book Title.

This article tickled me - World's Worst Book Title - as it reminded me of something that happened when Principessa was younger.

Uncle Gaz and Grandand had been fixing her cot, lowering the matress slats so that she couldn't climb out. When they were finished, Gaz shouted to me "Do you want me to put Pooh in the cot?" Well, my confusion at this question resulted in the answer "Why would I want pooh in the cot?" Then I realised, Gaz had meant the Winnie the Pooh lullaby and night-light toy. Duh! Silly me!

The writing didn't go according to plan last night. I did have it in my head that I would write after Principessa went to sleep. Unfortunately, I fell asleep too. Bugger! So now I have loads to catch up on today. But now the problems arise as I can't seem to get my head into writing mode (apart from writing this, however. Writing a blog post isn't a problem!), and the words are scratching themselves, like a metal glove down a blackboard, from my brain. Hmph!

Day 22: 82 words (said I didn't do too well yesterday.)

Run ragged!

Yawn. Feeling slightly tired today.

Principessa is being difficult this morning. She woke up so nicely, and we had a lovely 10 minute hug before things started going iffy. Then the computer rage began. I think she is slightly addicted. She is, at present, playing on the Night Garden game on the CBeebies website.

I had a letter from the hospital yesterday. I needed to make a follow-up appointment for the sleep tests. Eeps. I am hoping that it is just to say that things are still where they were last year, and that they will keep monitoring me on a yearly basis. Anyway, I called up to make the appointment, and the earliest date they had was April! I'm hoping that means I'm okay.

The NaNo writing is going quite well, if slowly. (Wow, that's not what I originally wanted to write! I think my muse took over there while I was yawning and typing at the same time!) I am still worried that what I am writing isn't good, but I am shutting down the inner critic and just putting one word after another.

Day 20: 283 words
Day 21: 429 words.

(Ooo, just found this band on the net. I quite like 'em. There is a kind of ethereal quality to their music. This song, however, is a cover. )

30 Days Of Night.

Well. Hmmm. What to say? I'm not actually sure if I liked this, as it left me with a strange sense of unfinished-ness and nothingness. Hmmm.

******SPOILERS*********

So, the film was bleak. In all respects. The setting was bleak and the outlook was bleak. Set in the frozen wastes of Alaska, the town shuts down for 30 days of night. Many of the town’s inhabitants up and move out during this time citing reasons such as "You know I can't live without sunlight", leaving the few who can brave out the darkness.

Enter strange blokie who leads the vampires to the town. He is mysterious, as we never know who he is. He is annoying, as he speaks in this horrible voice that reminded me of Adam Sandler doing his stupid kid voice in Little Nicky.

The main characters of the film are the town sheriff and the lone fire officer, who doesn't quite make it to the airport in time to leave the sun-forsaken town. Oh, and these two are no longer in a relationship (plot device to give a bit of tension. Laura said that in the graphic novel they were still together). These two apprehend strange blokie in the town tavern, and take him back to the police house to put him in his cell, where he starts ranting on about how 'they' are coming, and they are coming for him.

'They', of course, are the vampires. But not your regular loner vampires. No, these are pack animals, complete with alpha male and female (the alpha male bloke looked like one of the kids presenters on CBeebies!) leaders. Another thing about them, they seemed more zombie-like than vampire-like. The only likeness to vampires they had was their pointy teeth and their aversion to sunlight. They spoke a strange language of what sounded like Russian mixed with various clicks and clacks. I'm not sure this added to the film or not. In the area of vampire creation, the only way not to turn a victim was to decapitate them, and a scratch could turn a victim just as easily as a bite could. Hmmm.

Well, after the introduction, it all goes a bit Stephen King. You know the pretence, a small core of characters trying to find a way to outwit the bad guys. They find somewhere to hole up, but they know they will have to move to get supplies and keep the bad guys guessing as to their whereabouts. Cue bad guys finding a lone member of the community and using her as bait. When it doesn't work, the vamps, who really enjoy playing with their foods and are very messy eaters, chow down on the girl, leaving an opportunity for the hero to take a quick run to see what is going on. He bumps into another member of the community who has been hiding under buildings, tries to help him, and then discovers that he has been turned. Here is where the hero finds that taking an axe to the neck works wonders. The vamps find the body not long after and are now aware that their next meal now knows how to defend themselves.

Now things start happening. The group move out during a huge blizzard, stop off at the shop to stock up, and end up having to kill a little girl who has been turned. Then they hole up at the police house where strange blokie has now disappeared after the vamps visit earlier during the film. Another group member has been infected and asks to be killed rather than being allowed to live forever (wishful thinking there, as hero cop wields an axe now, and has vampire lumberjack tendencies). This is where the outcast of the town gets his martyrdom. He jumps into a snowplough (or something like that, it has a what looks like a huge chainsaw on its front.) and using that and a shotgun ploughs (no pun intended) through a fair few of these mangy vamps. He bursts into the local hotel, gets out of the plough with a box of dynamite and tells the vamps they ain't gonna eat him. He drops a flare in the dynamite 'KABANG', but guess what? IT doesn't kill him. But the vamps don't eat him anyway, preferring instead, to step on his head. If the vamps are so hungry, why?

So a bit of to and fro-ing goes on, a bright idea of using Grandma's pot growing UV lights dispatches alpha female, and most of the group move to the power plant. A vamp follows a straggler to the plant, infects said straggler after a big fight including some of the other group members, and is killed in a big machine. The hero gets his lumberjack craze back on and hacks the infected blokes head off (why, when he could have just been tipped into vamp eating machine?), then decides he must inject himself with some vamp blood as the only way to save the village. (Hm, after re-reading that, he would not have been able to harvest vamp blood if the body had been tipped into vamp eating machine. Duh! Silly me!)

Meanwhile, top dog vamp (TDV) is worried that after spending time making people believe that vamps are just a bad dream, they are about to be outed as real. They break the oil pipeline that runs through the town, setting the spilled oil on fire.

Newly infected hero (NIH) now goes out to stand against evil vamps, and has a one on one punch up with TDV. NIH kills TDV, and the other vamps just disappear. NIH goes off to watch the sunrise with separated girlfriend; turns to dust and bits of him float away. The end.

Which, to me, was a very non-ending ending. I don't know, I still can't work out if I liked it or not. There just seemed to be something missing that would have made it a good film. It might have been the uses of the main characters separation as a way of introducing tension, if the story in the novel was good enough, why change it? It could have been the un-vampire like vampires, and the way they shook their heads when chowing down (if they were actually eating the victims it might be understandable, but as they only have a thirst?). Maybe it was the whole biting thing. Traditional vampires bite not only for food, but also as a way of reproducing. This was completely overlooked when it became apparent that just a scratch could turn a victim, thus turning vampires into simple monsters with none of the gothic sensuality. I suppose it's another way of highlighting terrorism. Ah well.

Give me traditional vampires any day.

Cybernation avoided!

So, I got to the hospital, fully expecting to have all the electro-stickers done, and they handed me the little finger monitor. Yay, but ow! The finger monitor is so much easier to handle, having a finger clip and a little computer on a wrist strap, but it is equally as awkward as the larger machine to sleep with. I kept worrying that I might switch the machine off accidentally by leaning on it. Argh! By about 6am the nail on my little finger was hurting where the finger clip pressed against it. I should try to get an engineering degree and work on machines that make it more comfortable to do sleep studies with! Now I just have to wait for the results.

I would like to thank Joe at CPAP.co.uk for sending me an e-mail about other mask options if it does transpire that I have sleep apnoea.

Tonight, I will have a much more enjoyable experience (I hope!)as it is the rearranged day for my cinema trip with Laura to see 30 Days Of Night. I know it is a vampire film, and I know it is based on the graphic novels of the same title, but I don't know what to expect from it. I've not read the graphic novels, and I have not seen much about the film (I have purposefully not looked it up. I think I annoyed Laura when we went to see Eragon by tutting and shaking my head at the complete mess they made of that film), so I am keeping my fingers crossed. I will report back tomorrow.

Onto NaNo matters. My inner critic has reared its ugly head again. I am worried that everything I am writing is utter poop. I am still writing, but my head is telling me "What's the point? It's no good!" I am trying to stifle the little bugger, to put a pillow over its little critical face and smoother it, but it keeps popping up! I have invested in a course by Holly Lisle called How To Beat Writers Block to help me beat this little voice into submission. When I get a spare quiet hour I shall work through the course.

Day 19: 604 words.

Don't you just hate those moments...

When someone walks up to you and starts talking to you, but you don't remember whom that person is? That happened to me yesterday. I had been to ASDA with Grandand and Principessa, and just as we were leaving this woman walks up to me and asks me how I am. Argh, mind blank, cogs working, and I'm sure she could see the ticker-tape flicking in my eyes of non-recognition. It's bad enough that I didn't remember who she was, but I felt even more ignorant because I was having trouble speaking as I was choking on my cough! Why didn't Lemony Snickett forewarn me about these unfortunate events!

This morning wasn't much fun either. I don't know why I do it, but when I sleep I slide down the bed, and this makes it harder for me to sit up when I wake up. Well, I got stuck this morning to the point of tiredness and panic. This, in turn, woke Principessa up, and she got all upset.

"Where are you going, babe?" I asked her as she jumped up and started getting off the bed.

"To get Nanny to help you, Mummy."

"No! Don't wake Nanny up. It's very early in the morning and Nanny will get mad if we wake her up now."

"Don't worry Mummy, I'll help you."

Awww, she is so sweet. Principessa's offer of help buoyed me up, so I told her not to worry and to go back to sleep. I managed to get myself sitting up, finally, and Principessa got all upset again.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to get Nanny."

"Nanny is still asleep. It's okay now. I don't need help, I'm all sorted."

"Okay, I must go back to sleep now."

If only... She gave me a big cuddle to make sure I was okay, and then we talk about Petey the bear that had spent the night downstairs. Then more talk, a little bit of playing and a little bit of crying, before she went back to sleep - about an hour and a half later. I was glad of the extra sleep. By the time I woke again Principessa had snuggled right underneath the duvet, so if you didn't know she was there you wouldn't know she was there, and appeared to have gone into hibernation. Three years old and impossible to wake up!

Later on today I am off to the hospital to have sensor stickers placed on my face, neck, chest, legs and arms. They are being put there so I can do a sleep study tonight. Just before I go to bed, I attach wires to the stickers and jack myself into a little computer that tests my breathing, blood pressure and blood gases while I sleep. This is to make sure that I don't stop breathing while I am asleep. If I do stop breathing, it is to monitor the number of times I stop breathing per hour. If I stop fifteen times or more per hour, then I am considered to suffer with sleep apnoea. This means I have to use a CPAP machine. Not fun. I can't stand having things put over my face; it sends me into a panic. I don't know what I'd do of I had to use one of the elephant CPAP masks. I just hope the remnants of this cold don't push me over the fifteen times mark. Last year when this was done I had stopped breathing 13 times per hour.

On to the NaNo. I have finally started to introduce the main characters of the story. Phew! I thought I was never going to get there! Now for the main haul of the story. I am hoping it will go as smoothly as the last 5000 words have gone. (Yipes, if I was doing the full NaNo, to be on target I would have had to have written 30,000 words by now. I feel like such a slacker!)

Day 17: 414 words
Day 18: 0 words (Was so tired I just went to sleep last night. Will work hard today!)

Bloody snot!

And not in the Michael Caine sense. Actual, horrible, runny, bloody snot. It's been like that for the past three days. I think this cold is having a bad effect on my sinuses. Poop. And I can't get to the docs until Tuesday. Double poop.

It's only 11.10am, and already Principessa has had a full on strop. Grandand had brought the pebble painting kit in after putting it in the car last night. (It was taken from Principessa last night after she had continued to try and play with it after being told we would paint the pebbles today.) Principessa had come downstairs and found the kit and had taken it upstairs into Nanny's room. Both Nanny and I had told her not to open the box as Auntie Lindsay wanted to come round and spend time with her painting the pebbles, but this wasn't what Principessa wanted to hear. She proceeded to open the box, take out the blue paint, open it and spill it on Nanny's duvet. Not only was Principessa in a strop after Nanny took the paint and kit off her, but Nanny was in a strop too! Argh! All this and I'm stuck on the loo! So I had to explain to Principessa why, while sat on the loo, Nanny was so upset with her and why her pebble kit had been taken off her. Talk about toilet training!

Anyway, enough about bloody snot and toilet enforcement! Principessa has been quite good since her strop, sat, for the most part, quietly watching Night Garden on the old laptop. She has just gone upstairs to see Nanny, and has left me trapped in my seat, blocking me in with her table. Thanks, Principessa.

Day 16: 516 words